“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. Perfectionism is not about health achievement and growth; it’s a shield.” - Dr. brené Brown
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Perfectionists see the world in all or nothing terms: anything less than perfect is a failure in their eyes. But perfectionism itself is not so black and white – it comes in different types and degrees. For some people, it means having a precisely organized desk at all times, but for others the need to be perfect becomes all consuming.
Having high standards is a great quality. Striving to exceed expectations can drive people to perform at their highest level. However, habitually setting standards that are impossible to meet, or can only be met with great difficulty, leads to some serious costs such as:
Being a micromanager or being unable to delegate
Holding others to impossibly high standards, which can negatively impact work relationships and morale
Wasting time
Creating unnecessary stress and anxiety
Lowering productivity
Taking away opportunities to work on other important, new projects
Procrastinating for fear of not being perfect
As an executive coach, I work with many clients to help them manage and overcome perfectionist tendencies. We start by identifying the root cause of their perfectionism.
Perfectionism is not really about high standards; it’s about control. A perfectionist tries to exert an impossibly high level of control over a world that is largely uncontrollable. This drive to control the uncontrollable is motivated by lack of confidence, insecurity, and fear of failure. Uncovering those fears and exploring healthier, more flexible ways to deal with them puts my clients on a path to overcome perfectionism.
3 Ways You Can Overcome Perfectionist Tendencies
Get started with these three practical ways to manage perfectionism.
1. Shift your mindset from perfectionism to excellence
Excellence means doing your best every day vs. having to struggle each day to be perfect. And operating with a mindset of excellence will allow you to be happy with what you’ve achieved and learned on that particular day.
2. Keep the big picture in mind
Try not to get bogged down in the details. Ask yourself these questions:
Am I using my time wisely?
How important is this project or task in the scheme of things?
What is the worst thing that can happen if it’s not perfect?
Will it still matter tomorrow? Next week? Next year?
How well is being a perfectionist serving me?
What is it costing me – sleep, stress, losing friends?
3. Get comfortable with “good enough”
Reevaluate your standards. Some projects need to get done and don’t need to be your best work. Give yourself permission to get comfortable with “good enough” and give it a try.
Is perfectionism getting in the way of your personal or professional success? I can help. Contact me at megan@wallscareercoach.com.